Understanding Step-Parent Challenges

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Understanding how family law affects step-parent legal rights can help you anticipate areas of difficulty and put legal protections in place. When somebody marries a parent who shares a child or children with their former spouse, they may worry first about step-parenting challenges arising from the step-parent and child relationship. What may come to be a larger problem, though, are the legal issues surrounding custody, support, and step-parent rights in potentially high-conflict situations with former spouses. 

Unfortunately, (when it comes to step-parent legal rights) it is not the role of a step-parent to figure out the terms of custody and visitation of children shared between exes; that is up to the biological parents. However, having a formal agreement in place is helpful because it provides predictability. When you know where the child is going to be at any given time, you can plan ahead. In the case of more complex arrangements, a document like a Google calendar can be helpful in keeping all parties on the same page. Furthermore, a step-parent may be involved in organizing and tracking this type of tool. This also gives you a document to point to in mediating disputes, for example, over who has the child for the holidays and what exactly that consists of. The lack of a formal custody order, on the other hand, increases communication and dialogue between the exes and thus the potential for conflict.

Generally speaking, the amount of child support is tied to the amount of time shared and the incomes of both the biological parents (the income of any step-parents is not considered). Any alteration to either of those factors will change the amount of child support that’s payable. A verbal modification to an existing support order is not legally enforceable; if it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist. The danger arises when the parties orally agree to a modification. Let’s say for example, if one parent has lost a job or has another reduction in income. Then, the party who is owed child support comes back years later demanding payment of the amount owed per the previous court order. In California and other jurisdictions, this can happen at any time.

A second caveat: Always keep records. Especially if the relationship between the biological parents is toxic. It’s important to make sure that payments are tracked to protect both parties. Tracking can be done via a cancelled check or disbursement through an organization like the Department of Child Support Services. In the case of outstanding child support debt, joint accounts and community property can be at risk of garnishment, putting the assets of the step-parent at risk.

As a step-parent marrying a biological parent, a prenup can be helpful for defining the start of community assets. In California and in the majority of community property states, the property that a biological parent brings into the marriage is their separate property. If this involves a house that was received from a previous relationship, the step-parent does not have a claim to the property except to the extent that community assets are put into the house afterward. How the house is handled becomes important in estate planning. A prenup can also aid in establishing expectations for what happens if the couple divorces or one of them passes away.

If a postnup is not a signal of relationship difficulties, it is often triggered by something like estate planning considerations. For example, if you’ve gone to a probate attorney to set up a trust, they need to know what assets will be funded into that trust. It can be helpful when a third party is asking for that information, so the impetus for requesting a postnup is not seen as primarily coming from the step-parent.

Navigating legal issues as a step-parent can be complicated, especially when your spouse’s ex is not cooperative. Hart Ginney LLP can help you identify potential problems, understand your rights, and act in the best way to protect yourself and your family. 

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